The boy picked up the oxy acetylene cutting torch. Igniting it, he adjusted the flame so that it was just right. Remembering the valve settings he extinguished the flame. He opened the valves back to the remembered position and then directed the gas jet into the 12 inch steel tube that ran 30 feet across the workshop floor.
He had previously stuffed each end of the steel tube with rolled up newspaper to create a temporary seal. After a time he felt the tube must be full of gas. He removed the nozzle, bringing it up so he could ignite it.
Bringing the lit flame back down to the makeshift rook scarer it produced such a tremendous bang, bringing the workman out from their tea break, the men walking around looking for what could have generated such an explosion!
Tuesday 29 April 2014
Wagga Puppy
Fred sat eating his tea. The puppy, pretending to be busy sniffing everything gradually worked its way over and sat staring up at him with its big puppy like eyes.
Fred's anger began to rise, he didn't like puppies, they were an inconvenience; an unnecessary intrusion on busy family life.
He stared right at it, willing it to burst into flames but it didn't take the hint.
That was it! Enough!!! Freds anger boiled.
He pushed his chair back forcefully and stood up with the intention of chasing the damn thing out of the room and God help him if he caught it.
However his angry demeanor was quickly replaced by one of surprise/shock and fear.
He staggered, his hand went to his throat. Something was stuck in it and he needed to dislodge it, and right now! I must get outside, he thought but he realised he didn't have enough time.
The "Wagga Puppy" wasn't a real puppy it was a robot simulation. Fred realised it could radio for help. He looked at the puppy and it stared back at him with a puzzle expression. Fred waved at his throat, pointing, a pleading expression on his face. The puppies ears perked up and it bounded playfully around behind him. The wagga jumped up on his back and using its front legs like a human, it gripped his shoulders and swung its self straight between Fred's shoulder blades dislodging the obstruction which was a piece of pork fat from Freds pork chop.
Fred's anger began to rise, he didn't like puppies, they were an inconvenience; an unnecessary intrusion on busy family life.
He stared right at it, willing it to burst into flames but it didn't take the hint.
That was it! Enough!!! Freds anger boiled.
He pushed his chair back forcefully and stood up with the intention of chasing the damn thing out of the room and God help him if he caught it.
However his angry demeanor was quickly replaced by one of surprise/shock and fear.
He staggered, his hand went to his throat. Something was stuck in it and he needed to dislodge it, and right now! I must get outside, he thought but he realised he didn't have enough time.
The "Wagga Puppy" wasn't a real puppy it was a robot simulation. Fred realised it could radio for help. He looked at the puppy and it stared back at him with a puzzle expression. Fred waved at his throat, pointing, a pleading expression on his face. The puppies ears perked up and it bounded playfully around behind him. The wagga jumped up on his back and using its front legs like a human, it gripped his shoulders and swung its self straight between Fred's shoulder blades dislodging the obstruction which was a piece of pork fat from Freds pork chop.
Monday 28 April 2014
My Vasectomy
My Vasectomy
A light hearted single page essay on this operation performed on me several years ago. Basically it is to provide some insight into it from a personal level, to help encourage any man to undertake the operation.
Look of sheer terror
I was amazed at how quickly this was done; it was about half an hour from start to finish. I remember sitting in the waiting room in Newbury hospital’s out patients department. A nurse approached me, she was a big woman, and she cruised through the waiting room towards me like a battleship on the sea. she said Mr. Hine? Err, Yes I replied, come with me she said. First of all I was puzzled, how did she manage to pick me out to from all the other people in the waiting room? Was it the look of sheer terror on my face? Or was it because I was spotlessly clean after my three hour soak in the bath? Her expression was something like a smile, something like a grin but neither really, more of a smirk. She conveyed a sense of slightly wicked humour, but in a non-threatening way.
I dropped my trousers
We entered a relatively small room just off the waiting room, where I met the surgeon, He was a Mr. not a doctor, I understand this means he’s higher up the tree than a doctor. He asked me if I realized that this would be a non reversible operation. I replied yes. He said have you consulted your wife? I said yes. He said right get undressed and lay on the bed. Well I thought I am not taking my clothes off in front of all these people. There was the nurse I mentioned and two other people whom I’m presume we’re nurses. After several moments of hesitation where I was seriously considering walking out of the operation, I managed to quell my flight instinct, and did it; I dropped my trousers in front of all these strangers. I lay on the bed feeling completely vulnerable. The doctor came over and said I’m just going to rub some sterilizing fluid on you to prevent infection, we have warmed it up a little bit for you.
My nakedness was covered
I had by this time managed to somehow detach myself from the immediate threat to my person. I don’t know if you have difficulty letting a dentist drill your teeth for filling but if you do you probably know the feeling of detachment that you can sometimes attain in this sort of situation. After the sterilizing fluid was applied the doctor pulled a sheet of blue paper over me. Wonderful, my nakedness was covered, I immediately felt at ease.
Vasectomy gone wrong
I think it is important for me to publish this record of my experience. On one of my visits to the doctor when I was consulting him about the possibility of having a vasectomy, one of my concerns was the pain aspect, the other was functionality after the operation. I told the doctor about a friend of mine who had had a vasectomy that had gone wrong; he mentioned that he had been in pain for several weeks. And that everything had swelled up. Now my friend isn't a wimp in fact since this operation he caught his arm badly in some agricultural machinery nearly losing the arm, but he has persevered with it and regained about 80% of the use of it.
A successful Vasectomy
Well, the doctor said it’s like this, if someone has a problem with it and there is pain then he will tell everybody and anybody about it. But most people are embarrassed by it, and don’t tell anybody that they have had a successful vasectomy.
Discomfort, not real pain
So I decided I would tell as many people as I could about it. As to the pain, there is very little, I was worried about the pain so I took headache tablets in the recommended dose for the first couple of days after the operation. So I only experienced discomfort, not real pain.The only time I did experience real pain was when I forgot myself and crossed my legs, Ouch!!!
A light hearted single page essay on this operation performed on me several years ago. Basically it is to provide some insight into it from a personal level, to help encourage any man to undertake the operation.
Look of sheer terror
I was amazed at how quickly this was done; it was about half an hour from start to finish. I remember sitting in the waiting room in Newbury hospital’s out patients department. A nurse approached me, she was a big woman, and she cruised through the waiting room towards me like a battleship on the sea. she said Mr. Hine? Err, Yes I replied, come with me she said. First of all I was puzzled, how did she manage to pick me out to from all the other people in the waiting room? Was it the look of sheer terror on my face? Or was it because I was spotlessly clean after my three hour soak in the bath? Her expression was something like a smile, something like a grin but neither really, more of a smirk. She conveyed a sense of slightly wicked humour, but in a non-threatening way.
I dropped my trousers
We entered a relatively small room just off the waiting room, where I met the surgeon, He was a Mr. not a doctor, I understand this means he’s higher up the tree than a doctor. He asked me if I realized that this would be a non reversible operation. I replied yes. He said have you consulted your wife? I said yes. He said right get undressed and lay on the bed. Well I thought I am not taking my clothes off in front of all these people. There was the nurse I mentioned and two other people whom I’m presume we’re nurses. After several moments of hesitation where I was seriously considering walking out of the operation, I managed to quell my flight instinct, and did it; I dropped my trousers in front of all these strangers. I lay on the bed feeling completely vulnerable. The doctor came over and said I’m just going to rub some sterilizing fluid on you to prevent infection, we have warmed it up a little bit for you.
My nakedness was covered
I had by this time managed to somehow detach myself from the immediate threat to my person. I don’t know if you have difficulty letting a dentist drill your teeth for filling but if you do you probably know the feeling of detachment that you can sometimes attain in this sort of situation. After the sterilizing fluid was applied the doctor pulled a sheet of blue paper over me. Wonderful, my nakedness was covered, I immediately felt at ease.
Vasectomy gone wrong
I think it is important for me to publish this record of my experience. On one of my visits to the doctor when I was consulting him about the possibility of having a vasectomy, one of my concerns was the pain aspect, the other was functionality after the operation. I told the doctor about a friend of mine who had had a vasectomy that had gone wrong; he mentioned that he had been in pain for several weeks. And that everything had swelled up. Now my friend isn't a wimp in fact since this operation he caught his arm badly in some agricultural machinery nearly losing the arm, but he has persevered with it and regained about 80% of the use of it.
A successful Vasectomy
Well, the doctor said it’s like this, if someone has a problem with it and there is pain then he will tell everybody and anybody about it. But most people are embarrassed by it, and don’t tell anybody that they have had a successful vasectomy.
Discomfort, not real pain
So I decided I would tell as many people as I could about it. As to the pain, there is very little, I was worried about the pain so I took headache tablets in the recommended dose for the first couple of days after the operation. So I only experienced discomfort, not real pain.The only time I did experience real pain was when I forgot myself and crossed my legs, Ouch!!!
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